it wasn't lemon gatorade
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
