Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
