I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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