Banned from zoo.
Again?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Vodka?
Forever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
