READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
this is an emotional support booty call
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
