what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
