someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think your dad took our porno
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
