god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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