I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
