She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
