Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
