I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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