matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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