she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
