Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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