I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
