YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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