walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
