Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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