Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
