Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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