As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
