When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
