please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
