Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
