So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
