I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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