have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
