Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
