New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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