dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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