Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
