Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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