No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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