road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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