Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
