every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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