Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
