I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
