why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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