My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
