i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
