I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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