East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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