I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
