bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i think im in europe. pls send help
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
