I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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