i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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