life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
