Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
