actually, I'm a sock model
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
